Karel VS The Tooth Fairy
by Teh Cruxis Angel Mithos
Summary: Nils looses a tooth. Serra tells everyone about the Tooth Fairy. Karel wants to duel it and Farina wants its money. Rated for language and just to be safe. Oneshot


Uh so I have no idea why you're here… after reading the title I assumed that you would be scared of by its weirdness. Ok whatever… I'm dedicating this fic to Raven Re-incarnated because he helped out a lot with it so ya.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem and blah blah blah blah…

---BEGIN FIC NOW! ---

Everyone except Oswin was sitting down to the dinner that Lowen had just finished cooking. 'Why wasn't Oswin with them?' You ask? Well he had just discovered eBay.

"I must by something to show Lord Uther that I am… hmm… what was that word he used again?… 'Hip'… Perhaps a guitar would show him… AHA! Air guitars! Only one gald a piece! Ooh Oswin you crafty investor. I'LL TAKE 8!"

Meanwhile…

"My mouf id bweedin'." Nils attempted to say as a small tooth fell out of his mouth along with a lot of blood.

"Egads Nils!" Lyn exclaimed. "We have to take you to see a dentist!"

"Bud id was a baby toof."

"No! I will not hear of your mouth being unseen to." Lyn protested. "Get your scarf Nils.

"Ooh! Nils lost a tooth!" Serra squealed excitedly. "You know what that means…"

Unfortunately her answer was a flat 'no' from everyone in the room.

"He gets a visit from the Tooth Fairy!"

Most heads turned back to their meals at this point, they were not amused. "Don't you people know about the Tooth Fairy? When you lose a tooth she comes and takes it and leaves money under your…"

"MONEY?" Farina shot up from her seat. "And all we need is a tooth?"

"Yup, that's right. Of course, you get more money if you have nicer teeth like mine." Serra gave everyone a large grin before leaving.

"I must have the Tooth Fairy's money" Farina thought to her self.

Later that night…

Karel was sneaking around trying to find Nils' room. "If I find Nils then I find the Tooth Fairy. She will be a worthy opponent!" He said to himself. "Ah, Nils' bedroom. And there he is! But what's that on his head?" Karel asked not really expecting an answer.

"That Karel is headgear. It is a device used to keep teeth straight… although I think Lyn thinks that it is used to keep teeth in the mouth…" TCAM explained as Karel noticed that she was standing next to him.

"Who are you?" He asked drawing his sword.

"I Karel, am Teh Cruxis Angel Mithos, or TCAM for short. And very soon I will be your tactician… unless I chose to get Harken… But that's another matter!" With this she threw something on the floor and a cloud of purple smoke appeared. When it cleared Karel could see her trying to escape out of a window. "You didn't see nothing!" She yelled as a few coins landed at Karel's feet.

"Strange girl… I hope she dies…" Karel turned to look at Nils. His pillow was moving and a small, glowing, pink blob climbed out from under it carrying a tooth. "The Tooth Fairy…" It danced around then exited Nils' room passing Karel as he tried to slash it with his sword. "Damn! Its fast! I need reinforcements." He cursed as it fluttered down the hallway.

In Guy's room…

Karel and his new army consisting of: Himself, Lucius and his sister had come to recruit their last member.

"Guy!" Karel tried to wake him only to be kicked hard in the jaw accompanied by a scream of 'MATTHEW!'

"No Guy it's me!"

"Um… M-Master Karel… I… I apologize."

"Come! We must defeat the evil." Karel told them as he led them down the hall to the Tooth Fairy. "You boy! You sister! You monk! That fairy! Now kill!" he commanded.

"Karel your manners need a little work," Lucius pointed out "As does your sentence structure." He noticed the warning look Karel was giving him and shut up.

Karel left his um… army to fight the Tooth Fairy as he set of outside where he could hear noises. "Hmm… that noise could be one of those other people Serra was telling us about 'Santa' or 'The Easter Bunny' maybe they will duel me…" He picked up a torch and walked around the back of the Inn that they were staying in to the bins.

The sword master shined his torch on the bins and Priscilla lifted her head up, she had some fish bones in her mouth. Startled by the light, her eyes turned yellow and she hissed at him before running into the woods.

"Well," Karel thought, "That was… odd…"

"Master Karel! Master Karel!" Guy, Karla and Lucius came running up to him. "We couldn't catch it."

"Then we need bait!" He told them. "We need teeth!"

"But who will be willing to give us their teeth?" Lucius asked.

"Hmm… what about that shaman? Canas. Yes he's very agreeable." Karel smiled one of the evilest of smiles and began to laugh manically scaring everyone with him.

In Canas' room…

Karel flung open the door only to see someone had beaten him to Canas' teeth. Farina was holding Canas up by the collar and punching his face, a pile of teeth was lying on the floor.

"Canas!" Lucius screamed. "Why are you letting her do this?"

"Ah, I… I just… I just wanted to help out." He said dizzily.

"Listen Farina." Karel began. "I need those teeth as bait let me have them and I'll let you keep the money."

"MONEY!" Farina yelled as she did when anyone mentioned this word. "I LOVE MONEY!"

The song 'Wealthy girl' by Gwen Stefani started playing in the background for some reason that will forever be unknown and Oswin ran in carrying some air.

"Time to try out my new…" Oswin's face turned and faces you! That's right you! "Air guitar." And he began to do a 'man playing guitar' impression. "Do you think Lord Uther will think that I'm 'hip' now?"

"Um… no." Karel replied taking the teeth and leaving.

As he walked down the hall he heard Eliwood's voice coming from the Lord's room. (By now h was alone.)

"Ok Hector. Prepare to be raped!"

"GASP! Eliwood!" Lyn gasped, "How very dare you?"

"I'll rape you next Lyn!"

"I'm just not going to ask." Karel said with a disgusted look on his face.

"Eliwood, it's pronounced Rap-eee-er not Rape-er."

"Oh Ok. Then prepare to be rapped!"

Karel breathed out heavily. That was a relief.

"Ooh hello Karel." An annoying voice greeted him. "Have you seen Erky anywhere?"

"No Serra I haven't. By the way, why wont the Tooth Fairy duel me?"

"Hmm… I guess she only visits young people, sorry Karel, you're too old." Serra sprinted off to go find Erk leaving Karel wondering where he could find someone young.

"I've got it!" He said to no one in particular. And he turned around to return to the room filled with air guitar playing lunatics.

In Louise's room…

"Um Lady Louise?"

"Yes Erk?"

"Could you please give me a…" Erk lowered his voice "New haircut?"

"Why with the quiet voice Erk?" She asked puzzled.

"I don't want Serra to hear, or she'll do my hair all girly."

"Don't worry." Louise said putting a towel over Erk's eyes, "Now just keep this on so that I don't get shampoo in your eyes. I just need to go get my scissors."

Unfortunately for Erk he hadn't been quiet enough, Serra's Ultra-amazing-super-great-hearing-ears still heard him and she rushed in as soon as Louise was out of sight to do his hair.

Moments later Erk heard someone say 'You can look now' He pulled the towel off his face and looked in the mirror in front of him. Looking back was a young mage with pink pigtails.

"SERRA! What have you done?"

"Oh Erky I was just trying to make you look pretty like me… maybe if you smile. All I really did was put permanent dye in your hair and put it up."

"PERMANENT? You mean it's stuck this colour?" Erk shrieked.

"Yes!" Serra grinned, "Isn't it pretty?"

I'm afraid I'm not mean enough to Serra to tell you what happed next… lets just say she's not 'Pretty' anymore.

In Guy's room (again)…

"Now Guy you know the plan. You sleep with these teeth under your pillow and when the Tooth Fairy comes to get them I catch her in this potato sack and send her out to sea." Karel re-explained.

"Right." Guy nodded then lay down to go to sleep.

After about half an hour someone decided to enter Guy's room.

"The Tooth Fairy…" Karel whispered. When it got close to Guy's bed Karel jumped on it with his potato sack and tied the top up. "I've got it!" He yelled triumphantly.

Karel took the sack to a small harbour near by and tossed it into a boat the let it sail out to sea.

The next morning people restrained themselves from asking the questions 'What happened to Canas' teeth/ Erk's hair/ Serra's face?' And Went for the one 'Where's Matthew?'

That night Karel was lying awake in his bed staring out of his window when he saw a little pink light fly past. "wait a minute," He thought "If that's the Tooth Fairy then who…"

Out at sea…

"Hello? Hello? Anyone? Damn it Guy you finally beat me!"

---END FIC NOW! ---

Wow that was actually fairly long considering it's me. Well anyway I hope you enjoyed it. (Coughreviewcough)


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